Zombies Prefer Vapers
It’s a proven fact that zombies are among us. They are hanging back waiting for the perfect moment to strike humanity when we are at our weakest. They introduced the world to analog cigarettes thousands of years ago. The actual date was 600 A.D. on a cold winter night, the first snowfall of the year. The zombies knew the delicious warmth of tobacco would be the downfall for the living. The zombies learned how to fake human interaction. Have you ever met someone not quite right? Drooling, randomly mumbling to themselves, and they sniff your neck a little too often. Gary Busey… zombie! Now these zombies might be dead and constantly craving human flesh, but they are smart enough to trick us into thinking cigarettes are a good idea. They also knew that the 4000 chemicals they added would slowly weaken humans to the point of debilitating illness. We all know humans with COPD can’t run very fast!
Now to introduce vapers. Some of you may ask yourself what the heck is this so called ‘vaper’. Electronic cigarettes produce vapor. Therefore people who exhale vapor, become known as vapers. Duh! Now how does this effect the zombies? Well, they are panicking! Humans are switching from the death sticks to these ecigs. They are regaining their health, strength and endurance. Everyone knows the first rule for preparing for the zombie apocalypse is cardio. We have the zombies scared. But, wait… What’s that smell? Blueberries, cinnamon rolls, vanilla, and healthy brains. We are becoming more appetizing. Humans are beginning to smell better! Their organs are circulating healthier blood and the zombies are drooling. The zombies are rising up, unable to hide any longer.
EcigAdvanced has had to barricade the office from the ensuing attack. We would like to keep our organs on the inside. We are here to warn vapers first to prepare. There is an upside to our delicious, zombie attracting scent. We can run! We can fight! These healthy humans need to band together, a vaping army, to save the vulnerable smoking humans. They are weak and helpless, but nonetheless deserve to live as long as they can. You will recognize the signs of these zombies losing control of their pretense to being ‘human’. We will be followed. We will be drooled on in public. They will come in herds and follow the sweet smells of vapor. Finally they will try to sink their rotting nasty teeth into our delectable parts. If you’ve ever watched TV, you know what to do! If you haven’t, what the heck is wrong with you and maybe you deserve to become one of them.
Let’s keep using ecigs and recruit as many smokers (soon to be ecig users) for our massive, zombie fighting, army! Oh, and start preparing your crossbows, the attack is coming to a town near you.